Open your heart for the first time! Of the female singer “Jam Neko Jump or Jam Charatha” about the wrong decisions she made in life. After leaving the industry to focus on married life, love failed until it caused depression. She shed tears and revealed that she had briefly thought about not wanting to live. Finally, there was a turning point and acceptance of what happened in the Woody Interview program.
This is the first time that Jam will have the opportunity to talk about this matter. About depression Because before this, you didn’t dare tell anyone, right?
Jam Neko Jump: It’s when we are depressed. We won’t wake up another morning. Then we can know that I’m abnormal. I have to see a doctor. Am I depressed or something? That is, the symptoms will keep coming. It gradually arises without our realizing it. Our personality, habits, or how we change our behavior. It gradually changed without our knowledge. Feeling unable to meet people, I don’t want to meet anyone. I don’t want to accept the job. I don’t want to meet fans or even friends. We don’t talk to anyone; it’s like we keep to ourselves. Wake up in the morning and just lie in bed and do nothing.
That is the starting point, but we don’t know. Growing up like this, I have been through many events in my life. We can usually cope for various reasons. But during our time, there was no reason at all. Unable to manage your own emotions, you feel negative, worthless, and like you want to die (shaking, crying), which is a very bad idea. disappointing family From not being able to get up and go to work. I didn’t accept the job at all. Stay at home. Everyone tried to get to us. But we pushed him away. And then I felt sorry for myself that my family had helped me this much. I mean, I’m a normal person. Until I become a star. Before getting to this point, But we have bad ideas. I don’t want anything anymore. Quit everything in life.
What was that period of life like at that time?
Jam Neko Jump: At that time, my life was completely dark. Even though we have people around us, we feel like we’re all alone. And we feel like we are a burden to everyone. I want to disappear. I want myself to disappear from this world so everyone can be happier. That is, it will be that kind of thinking. And I can’t stop thinking like that.
Where did all the stories that happened accumulate? And how do you deal with it? To be able to sit in front of Brother Woody until today?
Jam Neko Jump: Well, we used to live at a higher point than this when we were Neko Jump, right? And after that, we felt like we wanted to start a new chapter in our lives. I think that’s enough about working in the industry. Our new path is to dedicate ourselves to being someone’s wife. I want to give my all to that place. And then, when it didn’t happen, I felt like I had chosen the wrong path. So I think that what our parents have always sacrificed for us, Mother sacrificed to leave her own work to support us full-time until this point. But we choose to leave. And then what do you think is better? It didn’t happen, so I think we made a bad decision. Make everything fall down. Actually, it may not be a big, world-ending problem.
But in the emotional state of being depressed, it was so big at that time that I couldn’t think of anything else. That is, if people are in a normal mood, they will be okay. Everyone has problems in life. We can get through it. Stress a little, cry a little, and it will be over. We can walk away from there. But when there is a problem with depression, the brain chemistry is abnormal. It keeps us in a loop like this, and we can’t get out. When I had it, I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I thought I could handle it myself. We let the symptoms get worse and worse, and when we find out, we don’t dare tell anyone. I didn’t dare do anything about it because I was embarrassed.
At what point was the turning point?
Jam Neko Jump: That’s the day we said we wanted to disappear. (Voice shaking) I lie down and think to myself if it would be better if we weren’t at home. (crying) After we thought like that, We lay on the bed and put the phone away. Then the phone alert came up as a message in the family chat saying, “Do you want to eat? Is it okay? I love you, so I feel like it’s not possible.” I don’t want to be like this anymore. We were tired of having to be like this all the time. We wanted to recover, so it was at this point that we decided to accept what had happened. I accept what it is now, but at the time, I didn’t know it was depression. But I know that my mind is not normal. So I decided to see a psychiatrist. It took about 2 years of treatment before I felt like it was gone. I don’t have that feeling anymore.