In a candid interview on WOODY TALK with Ma-Diao Apichat, he shared his perspectives on life and family, admitting to being overly confident in himself to the point of ruining relationships. He says he doesn’t care about societal standards, that there’s no need to be naive, and that you shouldn’t force yourself to be someone you’re not. He cautioned against excessive self-love, and declared that if he were to pass away one day, his phone should be burned and no one should access his data.
Are you satisfied with everything that has come into your life?
Madiew: Yes, actually, we look at things from many perspectives. We have a great love for animals, especially those with disabilities. We find those adorable, like animals with autism or those without legs. We feel affectionate towards them. We’ve never owned pets, but when we see them, we feel fond of them. They live their lives happily, while we’re the ones who feel sorry for them, thinking, “My dog has a missing leg,” or “My dog has a squint,” when in reality, they don’t even realize it.
Is the fact that we grow up assigning meaning to everything a human trait that leads to unhappiness?
Madiew: Is it really a societal issue? It might be because it starts with a standard. It’s not just about disabled people; it’s about anyone who doesn’t conform to the standard we’ve always considered beautiful. Just stepping outside that standard makes them feel like, “Am I sinful for being born this way?” Like when I’m gay, back in the countryside, people would say I committed sins in a past life, that it’s because I was a womanizer that I was born gay. It all depends on how people value themselves.
If we compare ourselves to the child we were then and to ourselves today, what were our dreams back then?
Madiew: Back then, I dreamed of becoming a fashion designer because I loved clothes. But at that time, we didn’t learn what liking clothes could lead to. The professions our teachers mentioned included designer, but we didn’t know much about them. Actually, there are many different professions. It could be stylist, magazine editor, or someone in the publishing industry. But back then, I only knew that liking clothes meant being a fashion designer. So, I thought I wanted to be a fashion designer.
Do you still like him/her from that day until now?
Madiew: Do I like fashion? Yes. But I don’t like being a fashion designer anymore. Because after I actually went to study fashion, I realized I didn’t like it. When we think about fashion, it seems like it’s just about dressing up, like pairing this shirt with that one. But actually, clothes have so many details. To be a fashion designer, you have to draw patterns for each individual garment. If your waist goes up by 1 centimeter, you have to adjust the pattern to make the clothes more fitted. It’s like math, and math is a subject I hate. So, when I was studying, it was like I was constantly surrounded by hatred.
How did we get through that?
Madiew: It’s about duty. Madiew thinks that if we don’t like something, we have to endure it and finish it. It’s a duty we have to fulfill. Actually, Madiew thinks it should be finished and then we can move on to other things. Everything has a duty and responsibility. That’s something we should uphold. Responsibility is also a part of it, because at that time I also received a scholarship. Along the way, even though I didn’t like it, I discovered things I liked within those things I disliked. For example, History. Madiew never knew if she liked history or not. I mean, who would listen to that in life? But studying fashion, which I liked, and then also studying fashion history, was so amazing. It taught Madiew that you can find love in things you hate.
What are some highlights in fashion history that you found fascinating?
Madiew: Fashion trends change due to upheaval or war. For example, at one point, women favored stockings because they were considered high-class and sophisticated. However, those stockings weren’t always smooth and seamless. They had visible stitching, creating a textured surface. Back then, technology couldn’t weave them into the shape of legs. The stitching was more like a sock. Then came war and hardship, but the greed and extravagance of those obsessed with luxury remained. Even during wartime, people wouldn’t wear stockings; they’d use a marker to draw straight lines on their legs to create the illusion of wearing them. The ego and desire for material possessions are undeniable. It’s similar to how we wear fake goods today. And in ancient Egypt, purple wasn’t forbidden; it was a color associated with royalty and high status. Anything purple was very expensive because it wasn’t easy to extract; it required grinding tens of thousands of seashells together.
Do you think people are still like that these days?
Madiew: Yes, it is. Everyone does it these days. Everyone tries to hype themselves up, is it for themselves or not? Not for others. I was interviewed on a show once, and they said that Madiew doesn’t really like handbags, but she does own some. They implied that you need them to fit in socially. So I asked back, “Which society?” I choose my own society, and I don’t want to be in the society you praise as “good.” If I want to be in a bad society, am I wrong? Why should I be in a society that’s so exhausting? Is it really who I am? Why doesn’t society accept me for who I am now? How do you know that other people in that society won’t fit in with your society? Is it a society of masks? Are everyone being their true selves? Therefore, it should be a free and open society where everyone can do what they want. Everyone should be in a place where they are comfortable and don’t have to work so hard. Because if it’s too much work, just stay alone and don’t socialize at all.
What are the most common issues people come to us for advice on?
Madiew: In real life, people don’t come to me for advice, not even my friends. My friends know very well that sometimes I can’t even manage my own life at certain points. In real life, I don’t talk in the style we’re discussing in this interview. In real life, I just hang out, playing games from noon until 4 AM every day.
In an era where everyone teaches self-love, but you say people should “hate themselves sometimes,” what does that mean?
Madiew: I don’t like saying that everyone should love themselves. Wouldn’t that sound selfish? “No, you leave me alone. I’ll do this because I love myself.” But does self-love hurt anyone? Imagine looking in the mirror and asking yourself what you hate about that person. It’s like reflecting on yourself: if you were that person, what would people hate about you? So, loving yourself too much is like being infatuated, like being overly confident. Therefore, try acknowledging 20% of your self-esteem and hating yourself a little. Then, try to understand why people dislike you. You might become a better person. Does self-love really make you a better person, or does it just make you feel good?
What aspects of ourselves did we hate in the past, but which helped shape us into a better version of ourselves?
Madiew: There are many examples. Actually, it’s about feeling overly confident in your own opinion at that moment, believing that what you did was right. For example, you might argue with a friend about something, but looking back, you realize you were wrong.
Where does creativity come from?
Madiew: My dad was an inventor too. For example, when he made house pillars, he’d mold cement. And he’d create art from scrap metal, welding scraps together to make human figures. My dad was very creative. My mom, on the other hand, was very outspoken and outgoing. She knew everything about everyone, loved to gossip, and knew what was going on in the whole village. She’d come and tell us everything. That’s how people in the provinces are.
Are you like a sponge, absorbing things very easily?
Madiow: Absorbs both good and bad things. This type of emotion absorbs a lot. We know how others feel and then incorporate that into our own. Madiow dislikes being in situations where people are arguing.
Conversely, where do you get so much positive energy from?
Madiew: It comes from everywhere, from eating. When I’m stressed, I eat. When I wake up, I have to eat. Eating is my happiness. Eating sour things boosts my confidence. Eating spicy things makes me confident, spicy and zesty. Eating is important. If we start eating sweets, we’ll have a sweet day from the start.
Letting go is a simple word but difficult to do. If you could share a simple and immediately implementable way to let go, what would you do?
Madiew: Letting go, if we find it difficult, sometimes requires forgetting. Find things to do for yourself often, keep yourself busy, and you will forget. One day, when you forget, it will become letting go. Try thinking about other things. I can’t even remember what I did yesterday because I was living in the present.
Does that mean life isn’t really tied to the distant future?
Madiew: Yes, right now. Because I have this mindset that I might not live to see tomorrow. I’ve always wondered if I’ll even make it to another year. I never look ahead to five or ten years. So, I want to enjoy life. If I die one day, I want everyone to have fun, party, and just let me fade away. And don’t even think about checking my phone; burn it! Because there’s so much information on my phone. Don’t access my data.
