The path to crossing the comfort zone to the role of life partners of “Ning-Sopida Kanchanarin” and “Jedi-Trainupap Jiratraitharn” come together to open their hearts deeply! In the program WOODY FM about the relationship that started quickly, the story behind the lightning-fast love that proposed in 2 months! Pre-marriage planning including finances, methods for raising children, along with sharing perspectives on sacrifice for the relationship and methods for maintaining love that will last until today.
Which red phrase?
Ning Sophida: Since the Miss Universe Thailand pageant, that year we were the hosts too. And there was the phrase “Which Red?” The dress had Swarovski diamonds embroidered all over it. When she walked out, it reflected the stage lights and was red. People might not have been used to it at that time, because of the look too. At that time, we had expectations of what a beauty queen’s dress should be like. But for Phi Moo Asava, she had a fashionable feel to it, so it was the phrase “Which Red?”
If you could go back in time, what would you have received?
Ning Sophida: It’s something that we’re out of our comfort zone. Ning herself is an introvert, in finance, and always on the computer. But because she saw beauty queens, every woman wanted to have the moment of winning the crown. So, she studied this and has been a beauty queen fan for a long time until she wanted to try doing something that she was always afraid of. Can she dare to express herself in one thing? Because every time she would do something, she would be someone who lacked confidence. So, she thought, let’s try it out, do something that she had never done before in her life, like standing and talking in fear of the camera and not knowing what to do. It turned out that everyone looked at her like she wasn’t friendly at all, looking fierce because she didn’t know how to deal with the camera or talk to people in general because she didn’t have many friends. She was an introvert, living alone. But then, on that day when she won the Miss Universe crown and got to enjoy it like it was the Olympics, it made her practice her patience. It turned out that she used to like doing what she liked, but now she has to do something that represents Thailand. How do we prepare ourselves to be ready? Even more than the exam at that time, it made us grow continuously.
Tell me about your feelings after dating for 2 months and then being proposed to?
Ning Sophida: From the first day we met, we met at a church. He was a guitar player. I don’t know if he was a CEO or anything, but it was like fate. Why was he so friendly? So we wanted to get to know him when a woman first said hi. Then we talked more through IG Direct. As we talked more, I felt that this man was friendly, warm, and gave me good encouragement. At that time, I was in a beauty pageant and had already joined the group. But he cared about me in every aspect. He was like a good senior advisor. And Ning saw Jedi as a brave and supportive person who understood the duties that I was doing. Ning is not just a beauty queen. I also like doing business. So we talked and understood each other. I felt that he was capable. I like a capable and warm man. That’s why Ning decided to date him. And my parents were shocked by the quick decision.
I felt that I didn’t miss anything at that time because I knew that Ning and Jedi were not fake from the first day. Ning is like this, Jedi is like this. I saw their emotions, saw their attention deficit, saw everything, but I believed that we could be together and were a blessed couple that God had given us. Therefore, a life partner is sharing both happiness and sorrow. It’s not just happiness, it also has to share sorrow. At that time, it was like he was older than me. If I go back to when I was in my 20s, I had a hot temper too. But at that time, he was 32 years old. He was about 8 years older than me. He had many maturities. So I felt that I didn’t have to wait. Ning had an experience of having a boyfriend for about 5 years, but in the end, it couldn’t continue. But with him, it turned out that in the 2 months, we hardly fought at all. But it was about encouraging each other. And looking at the good and bad parts, talking about it, making improvements. I wouldn’t let the problems between us drag on. We had to talk all the time.
Jedi Trinupap: If you met us 10 years ago, you would have said that you wouldn’t like us because we’re not worth associating with. We’re not worth associating with because we don’t have the qualities to be a good father or a good husband. Being a real husband and a husband means sacrificing yourself first. I believe that many families would be sorry to break up because of the idea that I think I’m right. Until one day, it breaks because no one will give in. Especially if it’s a couple that’s both good, it’s even more challenging. But when we decide to live together, because we believe that both are ready to sacrifice something for each other, what we get is more than what we sacrificed.
After 2 months, you decided to get married?
Ning Sophida: I made the decision right away because I was confident and the two of us worked together. So when we were together, working together, every day, I saw his flaws and I saw my flaws from what he shared because I worked with him every day. We went everywhere together. I felt that since I believed in this man from the first day and believed that he could be the father of my child, we tried to adjust to each other during the period before marriage, about 5-6 months. We went to a conference. I believe that we have to talk and find out first. How to raise a child, what are your thoughts and mine? How to manage finances? And how to live according to what we like and what he doesn’t. Marriage is not just the two of us, but it is both of our homes coming together.
What are some things that need to be checked in the family?
Ning Sophida: First of all, it’s about finances. Many couples may argue about money after getting married. They ask, will you separate or stay together? How will you manage your money so that there are no problems later?
Jedi Trinuphap: For example, if I find something for me or my family and then share it later, if Ning finds something for her or her family, what if her relatives borrow money? He will raise the question.
Ning Sophida: Asking about our methods, he asked simply whether to combine or separate pockets, and if someone borrows, how will you decide? Or when spending money, sometimes we may have secrets that we don’t want to tell. And what will you do with your partner? Ning’s partner, Ning sees Jedi as someone who spends a lot, supports a lot, has no savings at all. Before meeting Ning, we talked about it and Ning would help, but Ning would do it in a Google Sheet format, Manage Cash Flow, so that we would agree on a budget to solve this problem. And I thought about managing his expenses, but it was too much. I had to sit and save every single thing. So, I gave you this budget, you should manage your life with this budget. We cleared it up like this, let Ning manage, but there will be a central fund that is our money.
Jedi Trinupap: When buying something in large quantities, we will talk about it first. For example, if it is a decision worth a hundred thousand or more, we will start by talking about whether we have a budget for this. If we don’t have it, we will go next month or we think it is too wasteful. We will get tired of buying it or if we talk about it and it makes sense, we will continue. I would like to tell all the young men at home to let their wives manage their finances. If they talk about it first, I think we will be more comfortable and it will help reduce problems. I believe that 99% of the problems in a couple’s life, including children, are because when the money is with them, it is like having a salary that we receive from them and we manage from there. If we want something, we buy a little bit and spend only that much. Then we focus on working to create value and make our children as happy as possible.
Ning Sophida: But we don’t have any secrets from each other. Let’s show what assets we have right now. It’s like we’ve prepared a financial statement for him to manage and already made a will. We’ve already bought insurance and talked things out beforehand. As for how to raise the child, he asked if there would be a nanny. Will we help raise the child together or will the man be the main worker? If you have a child, how will you handle this?
Jedi Trinuphap: Will you let your child go to your father’s side, my side, or his side? Ask all predictions about future events.
Ning Sophida: When your parents are sick, do you bring them home with you?
Jedi Trinuphap: That is, ask all the crises to check both of them because sometimes, for the first time, we will get married. There will be situations that we have no way of knowing.
Ning Sophida: And there was a brutal question. He asked, if your child and husband drowned at the same time and you could save one of them, who would you choose?
This question is very interesting because the answer reflects many things?
Ning Sophida: What we shared reflects many things. Some people might choose their children first, but Ning chose her husband because her husband is her life partner who she has to be with in her old age. Some people might choose their children, right? (Phi Woody sheds tears at Ning’s honest answer.)
